May 19, 2023 |
Senior Designer, Mario talks about struggling with Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder resulting in mild OCD
I have had varying challenges throughout my life due to my Anxiety Disorders.
I often refer to these periods of being unwell as episodes when they’re shorter – usually triggered by an event; or seasons – where several events lead to a severe health detriment that challenges me, altering my overall behaviour and thought process for a longer time. Even when I feel better, my anxieties and intrusive thoughts still happen; I’m just more successful at controlling them before they control me.
Most of my Anxiety is rooted in anticipation of upcoming events. Sometimes that can be as common as heading out to meet someone or simple appointments. These experiences often occupy my mind so much that I struggle to switch off the thought process around them. I would involuntarily conjure up all sorts of worst-case scenarios and get stuck in those thoughts for several minutes at a time, eventually becoming affected emotionally. This was always strongest in the evenings and often prevented me from sleeping.
Past work experiences:
My last season was in my mid-20s and started when I moved to the UK. The struggle of finding any employment and figuring out the system here made me feel out of touch and unwell. With my resume and past work achievements dismissed, I started to feel like everything I worked for before did not matter. And when you constantly hear you’re not good enough for something, even if it’s something basic, you start believing it. More anxiety kicked in, and the intensity of intrusive thoughts made me withdraw as I felt I had nothing to offer to any employer. Plus, the lack of consistent employment and stability resulted in financial issues, which only worsened things.
Past social experiences:
I generally see myself as an easy-going and social person. However, when it comes to social interactions, it often feels like someone suddenly changed the rules, and my brain produces all these possible issues and challenges that weren’t there just a moment ago. Many people I meet are surprised to learn about my anxieties. I have been told I don’t look anxious, just the opposite, which often makes things worse for me, and I begin to worry about how I come across. When entering a new environment, I don’t speak much, if at all. I begin obsessing about how (negatively) people will receive me, and then I become anxious about not speaking, thinking that now people will think I’m a snob… A lose-lose situation. Anxious overthinking will result in me most likely acting awkwardly or saying something irrelevant as I feel pressured by my thoughts to take part. After all that, I would continue to be anxious, constantly reliving an event, my social mishaps (or things I generally consider failures), taking things apart in my head and thinking about how I could have acted differently.
How I learned to help myself:
There are several things I was fortunate to find that help me in my day-to-day life, and some of them have been successful in either avoiding episodes together or being supportive enough not to allow those episodes to turn into seasons. There are no rules and fool-proof solutions. Sometimes none of these work, but I have learned that that’s ok too.
Taking action – since most of my Anxiety is rooted in anticipation, rather than waiting days and overthinking at night (where possible), I try to crack on doing whatever is making me anxious and get it done. The sooner, the better; otherwise, I start stressing about it.
Reading about it – certain things (like my health) worry me as I often don’t know much when they’re brought to my attention. Through study and information, I can confront those worries with facts.
Speaking about it – whether at home, sharing with my partner or at work (where I challenge myself and my Social Anxiety), I found talking about my Anxiety quite therapeutic. I found that it helped me understand myself better every time I had to reflect on my anxieties, and I become less anxious knowing that someone will hopefully gain more insight into what’s happening inside my head.
Take time away – there will be times when I’m in no mind to be able to challenge myself, nor do I want to act. I have learned to accept that sometimes it will be too much. Rather than beat myself up for it and force something that won’t work, I will see how I can walk away from it until I can emotionally detach myself enough to tackle it again. I found arts and crafts very helpful in that. Just focus my mind on something else and try to switch off for a while.
This content was provided by Mednet Group